Depression Campaign – Define the Problem and Prove it’s Important

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I need help editing the paper based on professor’s feedback lists and embedded comments:

1- This draft needs to be reorganized to present the information the assignment asked for in the order listed, and it needs clarification on what the directions mean in terms of organizing these pieces.

The assignment instructions asked for Lit Review plus a SWOT analysis.

However, think of Lit Review as the term used for the 2-3 pages that *contain* the section/paragraph(s) that overview the depression problem; the section/paragraph(s) that summarize causes, who is affected, and why; the section/paragraph(s) that provide statistics; the section/paragraph(s) that discuss the costs of the problem and certain treatments and prevention attempts; and the section/paragraph(s) that describes your campaign and why you think it’s needed.

Your review of literature/research is what gives you all of this information – it isn’t one section within the 2-3 pages.

Here is what this feedback means in terms of a few of your paragraphs:

Paragraphs 1 and 8. I think this feedback will make sense to you when you look at paragraph 1 and paragraph 8 – they both provide good introductory information that give an overview of the problem but they shouldn’t be disconnected and so far apart from each other in the essay. Consider moving and merging paragraph 8 into paragraph 1 so that you have one complete introduction. You might keep all of the information or perhaps some of it will be redundant.

Paragraphs 9-12. This section provides good information in response to your professor wanting you to identify causes and who is affected. This section also would move up to follow your (new/merged) introduction to the paper.

Statement of Problem: Once you reorganize, this section about current attempts to help with the problem will flow nicely into your SWOT section – it won’t be broken up by the section that have called “lit review.”

If/when you make these organizational changes, you will likely need to change your section headers accordingly.

Costs of depression. The professor asked to include information about costs (preferably to Utah) to “prove the severity of the problem, including costs to society for the negative effects of the problem, costs of treatment, costs of prevention, etc.”

It looks like you start to get into this with the paragraph that begins with: “People with depression have reported a higher medial expenditure as compared to those without depression.” This looks like a good start to summarizing that information! However, the rest of the paragraph gets into how well people sympathize with the problem, which is off-topic. I think you will need to instead find statistics about how much depression can cost individuals and society – maybe look into how much work people miss due to depression or even alcohol abuse costs due to those who drink to try to help with depression. These are just some ideas for what you might look for to describe the costs of depression to individuals and society.

Attempts to address depression. Looks like you found some good research about efforts to use physical activity and exercise to help treat depression. This section could use a topic sentence that more broadly and clearly identifies this effort before getting into details about the effort.

Full Assignment instructions if need it:

For this assignment, please complete a brief lit review (try for 2-3 pages double spaced or so) regarding your topic of interest. Please follow the format below and complete the assignment. The topics below MUST be included (try for around a paragraph or so for each concept) including: – An overview / definition of your topic (problem statement and introduction) – How the health problem is caused and who is affected by it. Include why they are affected by it (environmental factors, risk factors, etc.) – Statistics (MUST BE LOCAL TO UTAH) to prove the importance of the behavior change you will be choosing – Costs (MUST BE LOCAL TO UTAH unless they don’t exist) to prove the severity of the problem, including costs to society for the negative effects of the problem, costs of treatment, costs of prevention, etc – Other ways / treatments that have tried to modify or fix the health problem – A summary and how it leads you develop a campaign on the topic Remember you must include local data (for example, using Utah’s IBIS-PH or Health department data) since we are assuming you would select a small, manageable local population / workplace to make an initial idea easier. As a side note, please refrain from using quotes as much as possible. Quotes require you to also cite page numbers and I require you get practice paraphrasing information rather than just copying and pasting information. For the second part of this assignment, describe your situational analysis process through completion of a SWOT analysis. Take one example from each SWOT category, and provide detail about how you would incorporate and define it for your campaign. For example, you could say “Expertise – Expertise would be a weakness for a campaign on injury prevention at _______ location in Utah. As our campaign would be compromised of a small amount of students, we would likely be viewed as experts, and would need additional support or partnerships to help”. I need to see one clearly listed SWOT component from each category with an indepth definition / example (and it must be accurate to the category you refer to).

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